1. Batman gets arrested- At Manns Chinese theater in Hollywood people wander around in various movie character costumes. The guy dressed up as Batman got in a fight with someone and was arrested (literally the top story).
2. Two sniffer dogs used used by cops to sniff out bootleg merchandise are in hiding due to death threats.
3. Little girl fights off attacker with knife.
4. Traffic congestion (the third story!).
Oh and there was some stuff about Anna Nicole Smith of course.
Absolutely nothing about the real stories that actually matter (check the news ticker for examples).
"During times of universal deceit, telling the truth becomes a revolutionary act."- George Orwell