I know exactly what you mean, I know she has a sketchy past to begin with, and just by the threats she has made to me, she has major problems, and I am trying hard not to judge her. I think by her threatening to kill me, and trying to break into my apartment, and spreading lies about who I am as a person, I feel, she's judging me pretty hard, I will not fight with her though, even if she meets me face to face, I will not lay a hand on her, I do not want to involve myself with that kind of behavior. Like I said, if she wants me, she can have me, a restraining order only helps so far, it's not like it's a force field or anything, so I feel it helps to a point. I don't know her, but I know by hearing the messages she leaves me every morning, that she needs help. I know what you mean though, I have no idea what he has said to her, It's hard, because sometimes, I want to know the truth so bad, but when I hear it, it's hurts so bad, I wish I didn't know. I don't know if that makes any sense. I would always rather know the truth even if it was the most painful thing to have to hear, I still would want to know.
@Snog, You have this huge heart, and I think/hope this is just a temporary thing for you, I really think that surrounding yourself with the valued people in your life, and realizing how important you are to the people around you, you will get through this. It is good that you realized it right away, before letting it eat away at you, sometimes too many people wait too long, or don't talk about it until it's too late, and then resort to drastic measures. I think with the positive attitude you posses, you will conquer this. Good luck, and thank you for bringing this subject up.