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i'd like to know if it happened to folks out of the blue,or if there was a triggering event.

Mine was a triggering event, I found out my boyfriend was cheating on me. I don't know if anyone here has ever been cheated on by someone they loved, but I figure, the feeling is as close to dying as I can imagine. I have not been the same since, it literally destroys a person, mentally and physically. My father passed away when I was 5, and it was like that feeling, the feeling of mourning the death of a loved one, because that's what it is, only you are the one who's dying inside, I don't know if that makes any sense. It felt like my very soul had been ripped out of my body, this horrible burning sensation came up from my feet, and burned up to my head, and I got dizzy and sick, and fainted when I found out, I fainted! It felt like my heart was in a vice and someone was just slowly turning and turning, and it was so horrifying!! I mean, the thought of someone else experiencing the passion that you thought only for yourself to be shared with the one you love, it's horrible! It literally destroyed me, inside and out. I contemplated suicide, I didn't eat for weeks, I lost a total of 30 pounds in the span of a month and a half, I was sick all the time, I cried constantly, it was so degrading. I still have trouble with my self confidence, my body, trusting people. I became numb to everything, and I just stopped caring. We are still together, I never thought I would be able to take someone back who would do something so terrible to a human being, but I did. It's hard, but we are working together with it, he is struggling to gain my trust back, and I am struggling to gain my self worth back. The hardest part of the whole thing, is the psycho female other woman, when he broke ties with her, she went ballistic! She is absolutely insane! She has tried to break into our apartment, not a day goes by that I don't get some crazy phone call, she has threatened to kill me, she has spread ugly rumors about me (I have never met her, or know her) she has no basis or facts about me to be saying the things she's saying they are just plain lies, all of them, she carved my boyfriends name into her chest! That's just plain obsession, and psychotic! And of course, she's got her little minions at her side to help defend her, and spread the lies even farther. I have nothing left to be taken, I have been drained completely of all my identity, I am numb to so much now, and some days, I feel like I just can't even get out of bed, and get myself through the day. We plan on putting a restraining order on her, but I just don't know if it will be at all effective, y'know, I mean, if she wants me, she can come and get me, right, I don't know. This just happened in JAN, so I am still under construction with myself, it's still so new, but I think, it's not the end of the world, I will conquer this. Snog, I know what you are going through, I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy, depression is just a horrible thing to try to get through, but I feel, if you surround yourself with good people, and friends, and don't loose sight of whats important [you] you really can get through it, talk to a therapist if you need to, but don't give up, your will to live is too important. :(